Scottie's last day on Earth

RIIIIING!

SH:  "Suicide Hotline"

SA:  "My name is Scott Abraham, and I'm considering suicide."

SH:  Scott Abraham?  You've been on Suicide Watch for months.  It's
about time you called.  It says on my computer that you own guns.  Do
you have a loaded gun in your hand?

SA:  Yes.  I always carry a gun.

SH:  Good.  Listen carefully.  Put the muzzle in your mouth, and point
it up to the roof of your mouth, and carefully squeeze the trigger.

SA:  Aren't you supposed to be talking me out of suicide?

SH:  Not you.  It says on my computer that you're a worthless piece of
****, with no redeeming qualities.  It says here that even losers look
down on you.  I even get a bonus if you kill yourself while talking to
me.  It says that you've ****ed your mother, your brother, sheep, and
carney freaks.  You have no friends, and you live in your mother's
basement.  Something about being an oxygen thief, and you enjoy
imitating a talking urinal.  The only good thing about you is that
homeless winos that are panhandling can carry signs that say, "At
least I'm not Scott Abraham."  

SH:  now, do you have that gun in your mouth?  I'm trying to earn that
bonus.

And don't smoke at the pumps.


              Horvath@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
           A mighty Hungarian warrior
       The blood of Attila runs through me