I am writing with the independence days of two countries coming up
(August 14 =96 15). Pakistan and India should understand the principle =96
if you change the rules of the game you will change the champion.
This is true in Cricket.
Let us see what happened to Hockey. India and Pakistan dominated the
s****t for 36 years. 8 Golds for India, 2 for Pakistan. Europeans tried
everything, fast play, slow play, muscular play, man to man marking
and all such nonsense. They marked Dhyanchand man to man and then 2
men to one man and then 3 to 1. He used pull three defenders on to
him, cut through them and score put a pass through to Roop Singh.
Britain reached its lowest point in s****ting behavior when it withdrew
from a quarterfinal match in the Olympics because it did not want to
get beaten by the country that it ruled.
For India Hockey was a NATURAL S****T. For thousands of years little
boys grew up playing in the thick grass of the plains in North India.
Grassy land is completely natural to Indians like mountains are to
Switzerland people. So each generation became better and better
playing games on grass and slowly our genes became grass loving genes
and we were dominant in all games on grass. In Munich they said that
Roop Singh=92s stick is like a grass s****.
The Europe found the best technique. They changed the rules of Hockey.
They made many small countries that had no Hockey skills as members of
the Hockey Federation and gave them all votes and the white bacchas
voted together. They all voted to remove grass and put artificial
surface =96 Astro Turf. Europe evolved with technology and India evolved
in nature. Whenever there is a NATURAL s****t, India dominates it like
anything. Whenever there is a technology based s****t Europeans
dominate it. Each race is controlled by its genes. Astro Turf is not
natural Indians and slowly slowly they lost Hockey golds. Today the
Hockey played by Australia, Germany, and Britain etc. is so horrible.
It looks like muscular fellows running a race and slamming each other
with sticks.
This war, agression mentality is also European. In the West evolution
happened by wars. West is always talking about individuals and
individuals enjoying greatness. In last century they were involved in
four very horrible wars. In the west it is always fighting wars and
killing opponents and taking their wives and having kids with the
wives of the losers. When Ashoka won a war he gave back the kingdom to
the loser and also gave him lord Buddha's teachings.
We are about grace and art they are about war and power. In India,
Pakistan, Sri Lanka etc. playing is about art and grace. That is why
Indians, Pakistanis, Sri Lankans produce so many graceful artistic
players and in West they produce muscular, athletic fellows who run
fast and bowl fast. You will oppose this and say what about Pakistan=92s
fast bowlers? Pakistan does produce fast bowlers, but even they are
not like brutes like Thomson, Truman, Alan Donald. Wasim Akram was an
artist. He and Imran Khan invented reverse swing. Thomson bowled
bouncers and tried to break the heads of batsmen. Akram and Imran=92s
balls could swing from anywhere and get the batsman to play and make
mistakes. Truman and McDermott tried to break the ribs of batsmen.
Akram was never the fastest bowler of his time and Imran cut the old
ball into the batsman. Tait, Lee and Bond try to bowl beamers and
injure batsmen. Similarly India produced Bedi and Chandra who were
great spin artists. Like Murali and Mendis are great artists Bedi and
Chandra were superb artistic players. Also in batting. Azharuddin,
Gavaskar, Sachin, Laxman are all artistic players. Even Viswanath and
Vijay Merchant were artistic batsmen and were nice to look at. Same
with Sri Lanka. World=92s greatest batsman today is a Sri Lankan and he
is superb to watch. So are Jayasurya and others. Who can forget
Pakistan=92s artistic players like Zaheer, Majid Khan, Saeed Anwar,
Sohail and Inzy. You compare this with Steve Waugh, Ponting,
Pieterson, Smith, Jacques Kallis, Hughes, Artherton, Gooch, Botham and
Border and you see no artistic, beautiful batting at all. I am not
saying that they are bad players. They are good players and they are
playing their NATURAL S****T.
The answer to all problems is this: which team plays its NATURAL S****T
will win. And for us to win we need to change the rules of the game to
make it closer to our genes and evolution. Like Europe changed Hockey,
we Asians should change Cricket. Here are the rules we need to change:
1. No more 5 day matches. No Test matches. We did not evolve to play
for five full days with breaks for tea, coffee, food etc. Why? Because
we evolved in hot dusty countries with a lot of sun****ne. In Europe
where they started playing Cricket there was no sun****ne. They were in
cold, icy state for thousands of years. So Europeans evolved as =93ice
people=94 and we evolved as =93sun people=94. Ice People can play for many
days, Sun People can play intensely for one day (that is why India,
SL, Pakistan and WI have all won world cups but England, NZ, RSA have
not). You can see in behavior also. We are Sun People and are
friendly, warm and generous and are society oriented. They are Ice
People and they are not open, friendly or warm and they are individual
oriented.
2. Put a lot of grass on wickets: we evolved with grass and grass is
our natural medium. So have a lot of grass. Also our fast medium
bowlers and Pakistan=92s bowlers do best on grass. We do not have brute
pace but because of artistic genes we can cut the ball and make the
ball move and swing and get wickets. Also grass helps movement but
does not bounce. If the ball bounces on hard grassless wicket then our
artistic wristy batting is not helped and it helps brutes =96 Australia,
NZ England =96 bowling fast and hitting hard.
3. No Prize money for individual performances. Only team level awards.
Ice people are thiniking of individual greatness and Sun people are
about society and group.
4. Less recovery time between overs. Our artistic players do not need
much time between overs. We do not bowl at full speed but we bowl at
full swing and cut and flight. Our spinners do not need much time.
Tait, McGrath, Bond and Dale Steyn need recover time.
5. Speed limit: any ball that is bowled at more than 140 kmh should be
no balled. 5 Runs will be awarded to batsmen. If you cannot get a
wicket at less than 140 kmh then go home.
6. Any ball that bounces more than hi high is no ball and 5 runs will
be awarded to batsman for such balls. Rule 5 and 6 is Asia=92s answer
to Astro Turf. Just like Europe took away our advantage we will take
their NATURAL S****T away and take it into our genetic evolution
advantage area.
7. Zimbabwe is solidly with the Asian block. Malaysia, Singa****e, HK,
Kazakstan are all interested. So are Mauritius, Maldives, Nepal and
Vietnam. We in the Asian block should get them associate member status
and within five years we can make them full members and make the Aus-
NZ-Eng axis meaningless. By then if South Africa is ruled by somebody
other than the present guy (there is guy called Zulu or Suma or Zumba
or something) we can get him to cooperate with us.
8. This is the independence day of two brotherly nations. Let us
celebrate it by taking an oath to change Cricket and take it away like
the way they took Hockey away from us.
- Kavish
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